Some great ways to annoy people at work...
1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
3. Insist that your e-mail address be firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com.
4. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
5. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
6. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN.'
7. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favours"
10. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
11. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
12. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
13. Don't use any punctuation
14. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
15. Ask people what sex they are.
16. Specify that your drive through order is "to go."
19. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
20. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
21. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
22. Five days in advance tell your co-workers you can't attend the social event because you're not in the mood.
23. Pretend your phone is a CB when talking with clients.
Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three
colleagues and agree to play the Office Game which awards
points as follows:
Run one lap around the office at top speed. Walk sideways to
Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
When they're not looking, pour most of someone's fresh cup
of coffee into your mug leaving them with an inch of brew.
Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your
name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over
your ears and grimace.
While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the
Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did you
get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it." - Double
points if you do this to a manager.
Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from
Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be
nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem
(extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you
with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as 'Bob'.
Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to
go do number two".
After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican
accent. As in, "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this
up for one hour.
While an office mate is out, move their chair into the
In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead
repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, all of you just shut up!"
Carry your laptop over to your colleague and ask
"You wanna trade?"
Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same
person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's
Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say,
"I can't talk about it."
Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc.)
during a very important conference call.
Tuck one pant leg into your sock and when queried, answer
"not now" and walk away.
Now tally up those points and take first place in the
Got a funny office joke? Email it to rvrabel2002 at gmail.com